And neither are these bears... but my parents were! This past Tuesday my parents would have celebrated 30 years of being married. It's hard to believe, and a little bittersweet. Mom and Dad had a really great relationship, and I didn't realize just how great it was until I was out of their house and in college. I heard about all of the bad things my roommates parents had said and done to my roommates and each other, and it broke my heart. There were times I would call my parents and just say thank you to them!
One of the best things about my parents was the way they handled conflict. My dad was a pacifist, to be sure. Any time there was a conflict my dad would just listen while my mom vented, make her laugh, and it was over. There was hardly any yelling in our house, and it was a place filled with love, respect, fun, laughter, and a whole lot of peace.
Perhaps growing up in such a great environment was a disservice to my marriage because as soon as there was yelling in my marriage I didn't know what to do. It was shocking! What was modeled for me was a rarity, come to find out!
I recently went back to the east coast to visit family, and it turns out the happy marriage my parents had was something passed down from both of their parents. My mom's parents were local, so I grew up going to their house. I saw how much my grandpa loved my grandma, and love and service was modeled in their relationship, even as Grandma's health declined. I wasn't as close to my dad's parents, and so during the trip out east I was able to ask my aunts about them. One of the favorite things I learned was that my aunt remembered laying awake at night in a 3 bedroom house for an eight member family, and the kids would all lay awake at night and listen to their parents giggle.
Happy marriages are hard work. And as a divorcee, I know firsthand the devastation a divorce can cause. But, that's not to say that I have lost hope that someday, someone out there will want the happy marriage I saw modeled for me and dream of.
No comments:
Post a Comment