Meet My Team: Part 2

We've all heard the saying, "Behind every good man..." Well, guess what? Behind every MS patient is a team of people working together to make sure this disease stays in it's place - the background! The first post I did regarding my care team was about my personal trainer. Now it's time to meet another player - the quarterback.

Here's a photo from my appointment yesterday with my neurologist - Dr. Corboy. When I was diagnosed I sent out an SOS to my fellow healthcare professionals. Who's the best of the best? This guy! He and I have worked together for the past two years, and so far we're super successful together. He's a fantastic doctor, and I'm fortunate to have found him. Now he just can't retire!

The best part about the way he takes care of me? He teaches ME to take care of ME! Personal responsibility day-to-day is key. I see him two hours per year (if all goes well), so the remaining 8,758 it's up to me to stay the course. Eat well, exercise, get rest, take my vitamins, maintain a healthy weight, and eat a low sodium diet are my homework. Apparently it's working, and I'm incredibly grateful for his guidance.

Down, set, hut, hut - hike!

Camping was great!

Sleeping sure wasn't! This weekend my hubby and I decided to get away for a relaxing weekend off the grid. We found the perfect spot, set up our tent, enjoyed a meal made outdoors, and were ready to turn in for a solid night of sleep. MS had a different idea.

This meme seems to sum it up perfectly:

Normally my MS is really mild. A fatigued day here or there, but I'm able to push through, still get to the gym, and bounce back the next day. Last night was something new.

As we lay, tucked in our sleeping bag on a deluxe air mattress, MS decided to foil our plans. I don't know if it was the air mattress that exacerbated the symptoms, but it was a wild night. Between spasms in my elbow and spasms in my butt cheek, there was little sleeping and lots of tossing and turning.

Tonight's a new night, but my hubby deserves a huge shout out of appreciation! Did he get frustrated? No. Did he kick me out of the tent and into the truck? No. Did he simply help me get as comfortable as possible? Yup! And even woke up with a smile on his face, despite our little amount of sleep.

MS didn't win - I think we did!

Katie Shilts, MHA - got 'er done!

Have you ever set a goal for yourself and wondered if it would every really happen? Some goals seems to have some of the largest barriers in front of them. But the completion of those goals is even the more sweet.

How do I know? I just completed one! In 2013 I started out with UCHealth in the foundation. From the first staff meeting at the hospital I knew healthcare was where I wanted to be. Working to raise funds was great, but I knew I wanted my work to have a different impact. How could I get there?

After talking to a lot of leadership at UCHealth and others in the industry, it was clear if I was going to do anything beyond raising money, I needed an education. My bachelors was great for fundraising, but the application to healthcare was a bit of a stretch.

Three long years ago I decided to go ahead and enroll in grad school. As a young professional, working a lot of hours, and newly single, I wondered how I would keep up with everything. Over the past three years the hours haven't waned. The pressures on my life have only increased with meeting my wonderful husband and his two girls, as well as taking a different role with actual healthcare application. Add on top of all of it my diagnosis with MS.

Here's what I learned:

1. The time will pass anyway. What are you going to do with it? My decision to go ahead and go to school was hard at times. It's much more fun to go barbecue on weekends or sleep in on Sundays rather than get up and research, write, and test. But what would I have to show at the end of three years if I didn't do the extra work?
2. Challenges will come along and try to derail what you're working toward. Embrace the challenge, find a way to work through it, and remember - someone out there is working even harder than you are to accomplish their goals. Join their inspiring company! It was during school I was diagnosed with MS, and it was during the confusing time, before I diagnosis, that I almost quit. I remember sitting in the living room with a carton of ice cream, reading my book with one eye closed, and holding the book so it moved and my eye (the good one) didn't have to in order to finish up my reading and writing for the class. It wasn't my best grade, but by golly, I got it done.
3. Growth comes if you look for it! I was perfectly content to stay in the foundation, raising money from local organizations. But you know what? I had done it before for other organizations. I wanted to grow. I wanted to learn. This education has allowed me to push myself past those initial goals and into a realm of healthcare I'm passionate about and truly enjoy.

All in all, it has been a long, rewarding road. I couldn't have done it without the amazing support of my husband (it's not much fun to have a wife who has to do homework, but he really enjoyed saying he was married to a college co-ed), mom (she bought the ice cream), friends (sorry I've had to decline weekend events - not anymore!), and my employer (UCHealth has helped pay for my degree. I also wouldn't have done it if the leadership team hadn't highly encouraged me, supported my dreams, and checked in on my progress). 

What are you going to go do?

Dirty Thirty is Right Around the Corner!

Phew! My twenties have been rough! I shared my blog post about my new life with my mom, and her first comment was, "Wow! I bet you're ready to be 30!" Darn tootin!

And guess what? That great day is less than a week away! Time to start sharing some appreciation for where I am today as opposed to where I  was during my twenties.

First and foremost, I have met the love of my life. In July I'll be changing my name and be forever linked to this amazing man! The year of dating him was filled with amazing highs and incredible lows. I'm honored to get to share the rest of my life with such a strong, steady, good, honest, loving, and yes, handsome man.

Teehee - we sure are cute!

I'm stronger than I've ever been. Not only am I more physically fit, thanks to my trainer, but I'm also more emotionally tough. However, the hitch is not allowing the toughness to compromise my compassion. It's a continued reminder that my struggles allow me the opportunity to share in life experiences as others face difficult situations with a shoulder to cry on.

My job rocks! Rarely do people get to find a job in which they feel like they are supported, can work hard at something they enjoy, and be good at it, but I've found it! My days are filled with meeting passionate people that have a philanthropic spirit I can't help but admire. And it's fun!

Here I am with some of my coworkers - can't you tell we enjoy what we do?

My family is a constant and amazing support. My twenties have pushed us all through situations we never thought we'd face (loss of an amazing dad, divorce, chronic disease - never easy topics to talk about or walk through together). But we've made it through, stronger than ever! I wouldn't be here today if not for their love.

My friends make your friends look bad. :) Who would've thought I would have friends all across the world who have reached out to show their love and support? It's been amazing to be on the receiving end of such good thoughts, prayers, and love. I'm continually blessed beyond measure and count a blessing of my 20's finding out what true friendship looks like.

Here's to a happy dirty 30 celebration as we send my 20's packing!

Meet My Team! - part 1

Since my diagnosis in February, I have slowly been building my care team. From physicians and nurses to personal trainers and nutritionists, overall health is extremely important to everyone, but especially for someone diagnosed with a chronic disease. MS is a nasty disease that can strike, and sometimes in the strangest of ways (think tingling feet, loss of vision, need for a wheelchair, etc.). Not anything anyone would ever want.

What's the best way to combat those things from happening? Taking care of yourself! MS, for me, is a lifelong prescription for health.

When I first met with my physician (you'll meet him in a later post), he told me there are five things within my control to help with the progression of the disease. Eat a low sodium diet, get plenty of rest, take a Vitamin D supplement, keep a healthy weight and work out.

Those last two lead to the introduction of my first teammate: Jeremy Weber, my personal trainer. Here we are at my last weigh in:

(Yes, I'm silly. :) This is my "dream body" shirt. Why not have fun with life?!?)

With his help, I'm working out 6 days a week, staying (actually losing!) at a healthy weight, and feeling great! His help in keeping me accountable is really wonderful. Plus, Jeremy is no stranger to his own challenges. He used to be the fat kid at school, and he decided it was time to change his life. He's lost over 100 pounds, so he is the perfect person to help me on those days I don't feel like getting my butt in gear. He understands better than most people, and for that I'm extremely grateful.

Don't wait for a scary diagnosis, like mine, to get in shape. Being active and healthy has always been a priority for me, but now more than ever, the benefits of exercise are felt daily. Get moving! And know that if you live in northern Colorado and want a walking partner, I'm in!

Ode to Needles

Poetry has always served me well to help express myself; primarily in a humorous way,
so if you're looking for something to make you laugh, look here - it might brighten your day!

Needles have always been a great fear of mine,
nurses saying, "Here's a little pinch!" never made me feel fine.
I would squirm and wince, and face away,
hoping to only face them on a rare day.

A diagnosis of MS will change all of that.
Fair warning my friends - I've now got it down pat.
The needles started with MRI IV's inserted in my arm,
and then moved to larger scale with some resembling equipment from the farm.

I have lost count of how many needles I have faced,
and the lovely nurses who smile and still give them to me laced
with sugary words from their lips and pain in their finger tips
I have wanted to run, alas there are no ships.

The needle is now a part of my life in a larger way that I ever thought,
and despite the queasiness I still fear, the fear is for naught.
After a trip to the neurologist to see how my MS has progressed,
we received great news - nothing else has digressed.

My health is now stable, for the time it is true.
I work out, eat healthy, and find balance (taking time for the loo).
All of this is possible because of the drug I receive through a needle,
every 28 days - thanks to it, I'm not feeble!

So face your fears, is the moral of this short tale.
You never know when they may save you from fail!

My New Life

It's time to resurrect the blog - Bullheaded Babe is back! And with a purpose...

The past six months have been some of the most difficult and trying of my life, but at the same time, they have been the most rewarding. The story starts about ten months ago, and it's still in the writing. Here's the Reader's Digest version, but don't worry - I'll go back and share the funny parts in future posts.

About ten months ago is when we'll start... I was sitting across the table from my boyfriend of two months when I noticed a fuzzy, dancing cloud in my field of vision, right over his left shoulder. I remember thinking, "That's not right..." and told him I was going to go to the doctor if it didn't clear up. Unfortunately it didn't, and it actually started to get worse. It was time to seek help.

Over the course of the last ten months I have undergone two MRI's (a third one about to happen in the next couple of weeks), 5 hour-long steroid infusions, a spinal tap, and the scariest news of my life. I'm now a person living with Multiple Sclerosis.

This has been, as I mentioned, one of the most difficult things someone could learn. How do you react when you find out your body is attacking itself? How do you react when you find out you could become disabled? And how do you deal with the new future you have that no one has prepared you to face? How do you tell people? How do you make this a diagnosis, not a label? And how do you change your life to face this new challenge head on? These are all the questions I have faced and will continue to face for the rest of my life.

My current mindset has a few mantras, depending on the day and the challenge ahead. Here are a few of my faves (and thanks to those of you who remind me of them when I'm having a bad day).

• It's only MS. My sweet boyfriend was the one who first coined this one, the day before my doctor's appointment to figure out my diagnosis. It's true - it's two letters. It can always be more and it can always be worse. I'm a fortunate person that has received news that it's only MS, and it's not a death sentence. It's a life sentence.
• It's not a death sentence; it's a life sentence. Since diagnosis I have had a hard time deciding how I will be moving forward... Do I keep this a secret? Do I share my story? How do I bring people into my journey to encourage others and help find a cure? All of these have plagued me as I take steps to create a new normal. This blog is a part of that - reminding myself it's not a death sentence but something that is a prescription for a healthy, well rounded life.
• My life picture has a new mat. This is my favorite way to describe my diagnosis. My life was a beautiful picture, and before the diagnosis it seemed limitless. I was in grad school, had just met a fantastic man I hoped to continue to get to know, and was working in a job I had always hoped to have. Then, the scary words of MS. Guess what? The picture is still the same - I can still do my homework, I can still date this great man, and I can still rock at my job. I just need to make myself a priority - work out, stay a healthy weight, eat a lot of Vitamin D rich foods, and learn to say no so I can sleep and rest when I need to. The picture stayed the same, the boundaries just changed. It now had a mat of MS around it. And that's ok.
• Everybody has crap in their life; mine just has a name. In my 29 years I feel I have gone through a lot of crap. I lost my father unexpectedly at 22, was married at 23 to an abusive guy, divorced him at 26, left a very stressful job at 27, and was diagnosed with a chronic, potentially debilitating disease at 29. Guess what? There's always someone out there that has either gone through the exact same thing, or gone through something worse. The point of struggles in life is to learn from them and generate compassion for others so you can walk knowledgeably by their side to help them. My crap has a name - others aren't so lucky.

This has been one of the most terrifying times, but it has also been one of the most rewarding. I have never felt so supported and blessed by the people around me.

That great man I mentioned? Even after only two months of dating me without a sickness, he is still by my side! And we hope to be together for a VERY long time. :) He has been a wonderful support I am continually blessed by him.

My mom has also been an amazing blessing. Her tears, hugs and laughter have helped me through some of the darkest moments (she even sat in on the spinal tap - the doctor was cute...). :) She has also attended every infusion (I currently get drugs at the hospital every 28 days - round 4 was on Thursday).

My friends and family have all be wonderful! So have my co-workers, fellow MS patients, and anyone who has found out about my diagnosis. I'm blessed and supported more than I ever thought possible.

If you, or someone you know, has been touched by MS, hopefully the resurrection of this blog and my journey will be of help. That's the hope, and we need it! MS is a terrible disease. I'm lucky I have a mild case. That doesn't change the fact that I hope to someday live in a world without it.

Tag along, tell your friends, and I hope you'll enjoy my stories!